Leap Day is a long time coming

Happy Leap Day! This day doesn’t even exist, and on this day, I am happy and proud to celebrate and honor myself. This day spends four years building itself up so that it may exist for 24 hours. Oh how I can relate.

Good morning, god. Good morning, world. Good morning, friends. I celebrate myself today. All of me. I am proud of another 30 consecutive days of sobriety. I celebrate 30 days without thought of self harm. I celebrate 30 days on new medication. I am proud to be the heroine in my own phoenix story. I am proud of my home. Proud to belong to myself. I am proud of my job. I am proud of my relationship with my love. I am proud of my effort. I choose life today. 

I am proud to be doing what I need to do for myself despite some pretty horrific circumstances. I am proud to rise above and continue to thrive. I am very happy the gremlins of negativity, that seek to destroy me from the inside out, have started to quiet down. This is because of the self love and hard work that I practice on a daily, hourly basis. This is because I have access to all the love in the universe. I continue to practice humility and embrace ALL of me. For that, I am grateful. I honor myself daily by continuing to practice. The work is mine and mine alone. 

Threatening external forces only play a part in the daily internal upheaval. I rebuke external negativity, untreated illness, power, and control. I seek to please no one but the power of good. At great self sacrifice I hold at bay those that use mental illness to their advantage. I say that because I want to write. I want to use my voice. Sharing this brings fear to my soul because there are those that will use it against me in the most intimate way. I will not hide. I will not be silent, I do not fear my voice. I am lovable and I am loved.